A Journey from External to Internal Expression

The more I reflect on the year, the more I find myself not leaving but focusing less and less on photography. I seem to be pulled towards writing, which puzzles me. Have you ever had a passion that consumed your life, like that is all you have thought about and done, to suddenly realize I think I'm in a new chapter of my life?

Photography has always been my creative outlet, but it is purely an external medium; it captures how we see the world, not quite how you feel the world around you. Writing, for me, doesn't capture how I see the world; it describes the world. It can interpret and describe how I feel and think. Writing for me is internal, while photography for me is external.

In this journey, I remember one particular moment vividly. Standing in the midst of a breathtaking landscape, camera in hand, I realized that the lens captured the scene's external beauty, yet failed to convey the intricate emotions stirring within me. It was a turning point — a realization that the true depth of my experiences lay hidden within, waiting to be expressed in a more profound way.

There is a point in our lives where we no longer fully focus on the external; caring is a little too strong, but the internal is far more important for our well-being, our happiness, our contentment. External gives us comfort and a facade, nothing more. The internal is everything right now for me.

Is this purely a selfish endeavor? Yes, I'm going inwards, seeing myself, my wants, desires, needs, and giving myself goals and expectations. What do I really want to do with my life? Where do I want to go, how do I want to spend my days? Is it doing photography and just posting it on this blog and social media for other people's entertainment? Because being realistic, my photography isn't going to change the world or help anyone in their life. It's purely aesthetic and archival.

In contemplating these questions, I recall moments of self-doubt, the fear of abandoning the familiar path, and the societal expectations that lingered in the shadows. Yet, this internal exploration has become a transformative journey, challenging preconceived notions and fostering a profound sense of authenticity.

Where I can help someone is with the internal, which I feel is my next endeavor. To find what makes me tick, what is important to the self. Finding and understanding contentment. Writing, I think, is the next place I need to explore and get better at, master if I am so lucky.

Now that it is a new year, and so many people are writing their goals, aspirations, and desires, mostly aesthetic ones - go here, get healthy, lose weight. This year, my goal is to become a better writer, not a blogger or an article writer or even a copywriter, but a full-on writer. Can writing truly be the vessel to articulate the nuances of my internal world? I'll start, I might even fail spectacularly. But I will be content with the fact that I tried. That I gave it a go and even if I do succeed, be content with it being mediocre.

I will continue to take photos, but like my archive, there is so much that the world hasn't seen. Maybe just maybe, after a decade, I will be willing to share it with the world. I've found over the years that my later works, the stuff I've been sitting on, has gotten better with age like wine.

So to the new year and to a new you. We can do anything we set our minds to. We can do anything that we want as long as we make the lifestyle change a daily habit. From a full-time photographer that blogged and dabbled in article writing to a full-time photographer that is an aspiring writer - something I never thought I would want to do in a million years, you know, being dyslexic and all that.

So to us and our ambitions and goals, let them come to fruition. The internal exploration, as daunting as it may be, is the true compass guiding us towards an authentic and fulfilling existence.