There is a difference between projecting and being

I recently read an article about a writer aspiring to become a novelist. After five years, their best friend published a book. Everyone assumed they were the writer because they constantly updated social media about their writing process, talked endlessly about being a writer, and shared every step of their journey. Meanwhile, their friend quietly worked in the shadows and simply did the work.

This is a powerful example of the distinction between projecting yourself as a writer and actually being one. Consider the case of Stephen King, who wrote his early works while juggling jobs as a teacher and a janitor. King faced numerous rejections for Carrie but persisted quietly, focusing on honing his craft rather than publicizing his efforts. The same applies to those who project beauty, values, goals, aspirations, or wealth.

The key lies in doing the work, not just talking about it. This highlights the difference between being productive and simply being busy. Being productive means moving with intention and aligning actions with meaningful progress. Being busy, on the other hand, often involves filling time with tasks that may look impressive but accomplish little.

Many of us grew up with a parent or family member who urged us to aspire to something we didn’t truly care about. This is an example of projecting their perception of success, values, or the path they wish they had taken onto us. Perhaps they wanted us to become a doctor, an engineer, or an artist because it symbolized their ideal version of success rather than our own. These projections can steer us away from discovering what truly resonates with us.

You’ve likely heard the saying: "Just fall asleep and wake up 20 years later, only to tell everyone what you could have been." It’s a cautionary reminder of the gap between aspiration and action.

Saying you’re going to do something and actually doing it are two entirely different things. One is fictional; the other is rooted in action.

I’ve been many things—or so I thought. But in reality, because I’ve tried to be so many things, I’ve ended up being none of them. I’ve merely participated, dabbled, and wished to become something at best.

"The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing." – Walt Disney

Doing is hard; dreaming is easy. Researching is fun and straightforward; buying the tools is simple. But doing the work—putting in the hours—is challenging. It’s far less romantic. Everyone wishes they were successful when they see the results, but few are willing to endure the grind, the effort, and the time required to get there.

What sounds more appealing—being a professional basketball player or golfer, or putting in the gruelling practice required? Shooting 100 hoops every single day, running every morning, or hitting 300 balls at the driving range? These are the moments that never see the spotlight. These are the moments of being and doing. Mastery is not found in the spotlight but in the quiet repetition of uncelebrated effort.

There is a difference between projecting and being. One is a dream, a fiction, a facade, a story we tell others. The other is quietly putting in the hours and doing the work without seeking praise or validation. One is about what others think of you; the other is about doing what truly matters to you.

"Work hard in silence; let success make the noise." – Frank Ocean

They say you shouldn’t wear your religion or your wealth on your sleeve because those are projections. Real wealth is understated, and real spirituality is lived as a lifestyle without recognition. Only after putting in the hard work behind closed doors, away from judgment, can you emerge transformed—publishing that book, winning that tournament, or achieving your goals.

To move from projecting to being, start small. Focus on the process, not the result. Forget about external validation and connect with the deeper reasons for your actions. Being requires time, patience, and persistence, but it’s the only path to true fulfilment.

There is a difference between projecting and being. One is faking it; the other is making it a reality.