Recently I was talking to my wife about what would happen if our home burnt down. And reflecting on this. The only thing that I would be worried about is losing all my hard drives filled with photographs of our memories. Everything else I couldn’t care about. Like if our home burnt down, I wouldn’t be sad or angry, I’d just be annoyed that I needed to call the insurance company and do all that paperwork. I literally have no attachments to the thing in our home. And my wife said, “I wouldn’t call that a flex, like that’s sad.” But in my mind it isn’t and here is why.
We all can agree that we currently live in a capitalist society. Where items and ownership dictate wealth. The more money or assets you own the wealthier you are. In my mind, all that ownership comes from attachment and worry. Like did they just park next to my car?! They might scratch it. Or don’t cook in those pots you might leave a stain on them. Or don’t eat on the couches/sofa you might leave food stains, etc. These worries come from attachment to assets and objects.
My mindset is that I have objects, I have assets, but if I lost them in a fire I wouldn’t be sad because those objects are replaceable. The object itself has no value beyond what I deem for. Emotionally I mean, not the price tag. And the only thing that isn’t replaceable in my home are my photographs. Everything else I couldn’t give two shits about, because I can just buy them again if I want.
I have to share my values around affordability when it comes to money. If you can’t buy three of them, then you can’t afford one of them. So losing something isn’t a big deal. 1. Because I can replace it. 2. Because I don’t value something beyond its price tag. What I mean by this is that I don’t attach value to an object. It is just an object. Nothing more nothing less. Objects don’t evoke memories for me. Photographs and stories do.
I can see why my wife thinks that it’s a weird flex and sad. Because to her mind, I don’t value anything. I’m not attached to anything. I don’t have pride in her eyes in my presentation to others. This is true, I don’t care what everyone thinks of me. Because I believe that whatever someone thinks, is none of my business. I don’t have a nosey, FOMO bone in my body. I truly feel what is important is on the inside, and how you live your life, take care of yourself and others and your morel values. Not the car you drive, the clothes you wear or the job you have.
I was told a while back that the closest thing to a psychopath was a Monk. And I would say I see that I have monk values. And I can see how someone might think my way of life or my attachment to things being almost nonexistent is kind of weird. I feel they are missing the point, the bigger picture that comes from this non-attachment. Would you rather be sad you lost everything you ever had, or be impartial? Would you rather be sad, or content. Would you rather be anxious or natural? All these things are a state of our minds, and comes from what we consider important. I can enjoy a movie, but not be attached to the tv screen it’s displayed on. I can enjoy going out on a boat, but not hold empathy towards the owner.
The Buddhist monk saying that life is pain, that life is suffering, this is true. What they mean by this is that whatever you attach yourself to, results in suffering. You are scared to die because you are attached to your body and mind. You are scared to get your car dinged because you are attached to it, you’re proud of it. You spend time and money obtaining it. Your attached to it and what it represents. It’s considered cruel to some people that I’m not attached to objects. It’s just that I have a different mindset, a different set of values that is all. I do something that others find weird or they disapprove of my way of life. Which means either they are unwilling to understand my point of view. Or annoyed that my way of life is challenging theirs. Resulting in their discomfort from having to analyst and justify their way of life.
Would I shed a tear if I came home to my home burnt to the ground? If I knew that my wife and cat wear safe. I would only be upset for the photos, I lost. The rest, it is what is it.
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