Time anxiety

Reflecting on New year’s resolutions in August I’ve been thinking about life, yearly goals and aspirations. The choose to focus on having fun over ambition and capitalism progress and guilt for not improving or self-improvement or having a side hustle. I ask you have you kept up your new year’s resolution?

There are many ways to approach a goal. From strict bullet points targets to broad vague ideas. I had two goals this year, Have fun and play more games. And I’m doing them and doing it a lot. A stopped doing side gigs. I stopped developing my skills and trying to make my hobby or side-hustle. But something happened in July. I started to feel guilty, an underachiever. And I wanted to know what this feeling we all get when to do nothing, relax, or have to tell our co-workers that we did nothing this weekend as if we failed something. It’s refered to as time anxiety.

Time anxiety

Time anxiety is the feeling of uneasiness or dread from the passing of time. Commonly coming having feelings of wasting your time. Which ties into productivity guilt, known as internalised capitalism. This is what I’m currently feeling, and you might have felt this at one point and time in your life or career.

Internalised capitalism

Internalised capitalism is the idea that our self-worth is directly linked to our productivity. Something that is ingrained in us from an early age. From questions like what did you do today at school, if you said nothing and go a disapproved look or comment, or even the relied remark “You must have done something?”. To co-workings asking, “What did you get up to this weekend?” or push for self-improvement or to turn your hobby into a side-hustle. Because the cost of living compared to work hours is greater than ever in history. And we are all feeling it. That feeling that if you’re not doing something you are wasting your time or potential to make money.

Wasted time or Relaxing, decompressing?

This is how bad it has gotten in our lives. Myself I needed a new year’s resolution to force myself to chill and realise that it’s OK to not be productive. It’s OK to so-called waste your weekend watching TV or swiping on social media. What is wrong with that if it beings your peace, relaxation, joy or entertainment? That is a great state to be in when it comes to reflection on your life. You can say you enjoyed it rather than you made or did this thing. Shit, I find the idea of leaving a legacy so egocentric. 

Conclusion

Time anxiety is a thing and reading a single article will not help you’re apart from being self-aware. We are a generation that all feel this, and it’s not going away in a hurry. Unless you have the privilege and access to therapy or counselling. Which most of us don’t. So what can we do, well the next time you feel like you wasted your time, or weekend? Say to yourself fuck off internalised capitalism, I’m not a fortune 500 company, I don’t need to constantly improve profits or output every quarter. I’m a fuck’n person, I can do whatever I want with my time guilt-free.

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